


find a way home

by ineedmygirl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, In Love, M/M, Magical Boys, Magical Realism, Memory Loss, Polyamory, akaashi is soft, for his boyfriends, magic shop au, stealing kisses in the greenhouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedmygirl/pseuds/ineedmygirl
Summary: “Magic is real,” Tsukishima says carefully and precisely, like the words taste foreign on his tongue.“We know.”Tsukishima nods.“I’m Tsukishima.”We know.It’s a beginning all over again.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 87
Kudos: 794





	find a way home

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes it's me again i wrote this fic for the bokakakurotsukki week prompt 'magic au'!! it was a collab with the AMAZING artist, my sweet friend [frog](https://twitter.com/shrinpus) so go check out their piece!
> 
> man i missed writing about magical boys :')) i hope u guys enjoy!!
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/oiiblondie)

  
  
  


Akaashi Keiji is most well acquainted with two types of events in his life: love and tragedy.

And it’s on an otherwise nondescript summer afternoon that the perfect storm of both comes walking into his magic shop. Blonde hair windswept, honeycomb eyes melting sweet and sticky all over the shop’s floor, and making Akaashi’s heart do a double take in his chest.

“He’s here,” Bokuto breathes. A needless observation. They’re all well aware that he’s here.

The very air around them sings with it.

_He’s here, he’s here, he’s here,_ the marigolds that Akaashi was in the middle of re-planting echo Bokuto’s hushed words like a mantra.

_Finally,_ he can’t help but think in return.

Finally, Tsukishima is here.

The blonde stops just inside the doorway, looking around the shop with a wide-eyed mixture of confusion and wonder. As if he were seeing it for the first time. Which, Akaashi supposes, he sort of is.

He looks impossibly younger somehow even though Akaashi knows Tsukishima’s older now than he was the last time he saw him. Maybe it’s the missing time. That can tend to age a person the opposite way.

“Something we can help you with?” Kuroo asks. Akaashi is surprised by how perfectly polite his voice is, but then he notices the pencil Kuroo’s hiding behind his back. Well, what was a pencil less than a second ago, but is now a pretty blue and white teacup. Only Tsukishima could ever affect him enough to lose control like that.

At least Kuroo had the strength to speak at all. Akaashi isn’t sure how much longer he would have stood there staring, silent as an oak tree. Though oak’s did get chatty from time to time, if you got them going on about the past.

Silent as a sequoia, then. They tend to be the most shy trees.

At Kuroo’s question, Tsukishima’s eyes finally land on the three of them. It feels like a bullet straight to Akaashi’s heart. Oh, how he’s missed those eyes, sharp and intelligent and piercing. Powerful enough to look straight until your soul, tear you apart piece by piece, and then build you back up into something more than you ever knew you could be.

He blinks a few times, honey-sweet gaze flitting between Akaashi, Bokuto, and Kuroo each in turn. 

“I… I don’t think so?” Tsukishima tries the words slowly. Akaashi nearly sinks to the floor. That _voice._ “I’m sorry, I’m not even sure how I ended up here.”

Tsukishima looks so very lost and so very beautiful in the afternoon light that comes pouring into the shop. It’s making it exceedingly difficult to find any air to breathe.

“Wait!” Akaashi blurts out when Tsukishima gives them all a polite yet confused bow and starts to head back the way he came. _Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go again._

To his surprise, Tsukishima does. Wait, that is. Stops in his tracks like someone put an invisible wall in front of him and turns back to look at Akaashi expectantly. He takes a deep breath, and makes a choice.

“If the shop drew you to it, there’s probably something it could sense you needed from it.”

Tsukishima wrinkles his nose. He looks around at the dusty old books lining the shelves, the crates spilling over with raw, glittering gemstones, and the overgrown vines crawling through the rafters and curling around every pillar and corner they could reach. It’s written all over his face, the skepticism that he could possibly need _any_ of these things.

“I think it may have made a mistake. No offense or anything, I’m just not really into all of…this.” He waves a hand and gestures vaguely.

“You don’t believe in magic?” Akaashi breathes the question so quietly, he’s not sure if Tsukishima will even be able to hear him. He almost wishes he hadn’t.

Tsukishima shrugs with one shoulder. “No.”

The ground falls out beneath Akaashi, his stomach dropping. The marigolds’ petals droop and they weep. Bokuto makes a small, wounded sound under his breath. The teacup turns into a stalk of celery in Kuroo’s trembling hand.

It’s not like he didn’t know what the answer to his question would be, but he needed to hear it for himself. He’s not sure why. The line between love and tragedy is so thin when it comes to Tsukishima Kei.

“I’m sorry,” Tsukishima says again in the tense and awkward silence.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Akaashi says in a detached and polite voice. _None of this is your fault._

“Okay, well…” Tsukishima starts edging towards the door again, clearly itching to get away.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Akaashi stops him again, desperately. Foolishly. Out of his peripheral Akaashi sees both Kuroo and Bokuto give him questioning glances. It’s not like him to act so recklessly, but much like Kuroo, Tsukishima is the one thing that can always shatter his control.

Tsukishima narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“What kind of a deal?”

“It’s the special non-believers discount,” Akaashi explains, making it up as he goes. “You can take any one object in the store that you like, for free.”

Tsukishima’s lips quirk into an almost amused smile. “That doesn’t seem like a very good business plan.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I really wouldn’t worry.”

“Why’s that?”

Akaashi smirks. “Because I know something you don’t.”

Predictably, almost painfully predictably, Tsukishima’s eyebrow tics in annoyance. He does so hate not being the smartest person in a room. He waits a moment longer for Akaashi to continue, and when he doesn’t the blonde huffs exasperatedly.

“Well are you going to tell me what it is, or just keep me waiting here in suspense?”

Akaashi crooks a finger and beckons Tsukishima a step further into the shop, leaning across the counter himself to create a semblance of secrecy. Like he’s letting Tsukishima in on one of the most closely guarded secrets of the universe.

Because he is.

“Magic,” Akaashi says, “is real.”

Tsukishima looks like he’s waiting for the punchline to a joke.

“That’s it?”

Akaashi nods. “That’s it. Which is why I have full confidence that any item in this store that you choose will work exactly the way it’s supposed to. So you see, for the price of letting you take just one thing, I will have converted you into a believer, and hopefully gained a loyal customer out of it.” He lets his mouth curve into a teasing smile. “Not a bad business plan after all, don’t you think?”

Like the sunrise breaking golden and blinding over the crest of a mountain, Tsukishima’s lips break into a pretty little upward tilt.

“You’re that sure?”

Akaashi nods and finally says the first true thing he’s said since Tsukishima walked in the door.

“Everything in this shop right now is meant to be here.”

The three of them watch with collectively held breath as Tsukishima apparently decides that he really has nothing to lose here, gives a little shrug, and begins to peruse the shop.

“Keiji,” Bokuto says under his breath, shifting nervously. “Are you sure this is okay? We’re not supposed to -”

“He came back on his own,” Akaashi says firmly.

“He tried to leave, though,” Kuroo points out. “What if he’s not ready?”

“The shop brought him here for a reason,” Akaashi repeats his earlier words with conviction. “He’s ready. He has to be. I don’t know how much longer -” His voice fails him.

_I don’t know how much longer I can be without him._

Kuroo squeezes his elbow supportively. “We know, Keiji. We know better than anyone.”

“We won’t lose him this time,” Bokuto says confidently. “We won’t ever lose him again.”

Akaashi smiles at them, slightly wobbly but sincere all the same. He’s not sure what he would have done without Kuroo and Bokuto. What he would have done if he had lost them all.

He doesn’t like seeing either of them sad, but there is a certain comfort in finding company in misery. As the saying goes.

None of them say anything else after that, too preoccupied with watching Tsukishima as he makes his way around the shop. They probably look a little creepy, standing behind the counter and tracking his every move with an almost desperate hunger. Drinking in the sight of buttery yellow curls in the afternoon sunlight, slender fingers paging curiously through an herbology book’s dusty pages, and long legs stretched out as tall as they can go to reach the top shelf of sleeping draughts.

Akaashi takes the opportunity while Tsukishima is distracted to really take him in. He looks like he has a bit of a tan, like maybe he was recently on vacation. Akaashi wonders where he went, who he went with, what they did. He wants to know Tsukishima better than anyone, the way he used to. 

His hair is longer than it used to be, too, and the round, wire-framed glasses perched on his nose are new, as well.

But the fuzzy grey sweater he’s wearing, three sizes too big for him, frayed from use at the hem, with sleeves that cover his hands - that’s Bokuto’s.

The little stick and poke tattoo of a moon on the back of his neck that peeks out from beneath his blonde curls when he turns his head just right - that’s Kuroo’s.

The pretty pink mouth, full-lipped and tugging into a smirk as he examines a satchel of herbs meant to be placed under one’s mattress to ensure satisfying sex - that’s Akaashi’s. 

Finally, Tsukishima stops in front of a display of smooth, polished gemstones. He takes a bright copper one marbled with dark streaks and holds it up to the light.

“What does this one do?”

“Tiger’s Eye,” Kuroo supplies. “It’s for good luck.”

Tsukishima hums, tossing the stone into the air once and then catching it again, closing his fingers around it.

“I guess I’ll take this, then. My best friend has his big veterinary licensing exam next week. Maybe he can use it.”

“How thoughtful,” Bokuto comments, looking suspiciously teary-eyed. Kuroo elbows him sharply, careful not to make skin-to-skin contact, lest he end up in tears, too.

_Tell Yamaguchi we’re rooting for him,_ Akaashi wants to say. _Here, bring him a packet of his favorite sunflower root tea, while you’re at it,_ Akaashi wants to say. _He should come by for dinner to celebrate afterwards, don’t you think?_ Akaashi wants to say.

“Excellent choice,” he says instead. His smile feels wooden and stretched too thin.

Tsukishima shifts his weight on his feet, looking terribly unsure once again.

“Ah, right, so then I’m just gonna…” He nods towards the door uncertainly.

“It’s yours,” Akaashi assures.

“But you’ll have to come back and let us know that it worked!” Bokuto reminds him.

Tsukishima purses his lips. “Don’t you mean _if_ it works?”

“No,” Kuroo smirks. “He doesn’t.”

Tsukishima stares at the three of them for a beat longer.

“How strange,” he comments simply. “Thanks for the rock, I guess.”

Kuroo goes to raise his hand to wave farewell, then seems to remember that he’s bizarrely still holding a stalk of celery. Instead, he settles for calling after Tsukishima’s retreating back.

“See you soon, Moon -”

The words catch, visibly painful in Kuroo’s throat. Akaashi watches as Kuroo swallows down the rest of the nickname with obvious effort, like he’s swallowing a handful of broken glass.

Still, the damage has already been done. The silence following Kuroo’s slip-up is thick and terrifying. Bokuto grips Akaashi’s sleeve, and the little spot where his pinky brushes Akaashi’s arm burns, sends sharp shockwaves of dread and anxiety and grief up his spine.

“Kou,” he gasps, trying not to react too much to the emotions that aren’t his own suddenly flooding his body. Bokuto is usually much better at keeping his powers in check, but sometimes in extremely high-emotion situations, they leak out.

“Sorry!” Bokuto quickly adjusts so they aren’t touching. Akaashi takes a deep breath, bracing for the worst. The fractures in his heart tremble.

Slowly, Tsukishima turns back to them, face carefully blank.

“What did you call me?” He asks in an even voice.

“You - Uh -” Kuroo stammers, dropping the teacup to the counter and waving his arms frantically. “You - Your tattoo! It’s the moon, right?”

Tsukishima frowns, hand absentmindedly going to the back of his neck.

“Oh, yeah,” he says. They all simultaneously sag in relief as Tsukishima seems to accept the excuse. “I almost forgot.”

_Almost,_ Akaashi thinks sadly.

“Well, uh, thanks again.”

And then, just as quickly as Tsukishima came, he disappeared once again.

The entire shop lets out a collective sigh. The sun shines a little bit dimmer. The hole in Akaashi’s chest is so big, he thinks it could swallow the entire world whole.

Love and tragedy. They take up so much of a person.

“Well,” Kuroo says.

“Do you think he’ll come back?” Bokuto asks, hands clasped together against his chest, eyes big and sparkling in a way Akaashi hasn’t seen them since… Well.

“I hope so,” Akaashi says. And then, “We’re going to need to set some rules.”  
  
  


~*~

It takes one week and one day for Tsukishima to return to the magic shop.

It’s around closing time, and Akaashi is doing his last rounds of plant watering while Bokuto sweeps and Kuroo re-shelves some misplaced books. The radio plays quietly in the background, some old 50s station that Kuroo is oddly fond of. It’s their daily ritual, quiet and mindless work, a well-worn dance of stepping over the broom when Bokuto comes around the corner too quickly and harmonizing with Kuroo’s low humming when a song comes on that they all know.

Akaashi hears the door open, the little bell ringing to alert them to a customer. He doesn’t look up right away, still chatting with the pretty purple foxglove near the back of the shop to notice.

He does look up when suddenly the radio tuner is flipping maniacally through the stations, disjointed clips of pop songs and sports talk shows jarringly replacing the pleasant crooning that had been coming from it only moments before.

There’s only one customer who could make Bokuto’s powers act up like that.

“My friend aced his exam,” Tsukishima says.

“Congratulations to him!” Bokuto says.

“On his way home, he found his neighbor’s missing dog.”

“I’m sure his neighbor was relieved,” Kuroo says.

“They gave him a fifty thousand yen reward.”

“How generous of them,” Akaashi says.

“Then, he went out and entered a sweepstakes for a free cruise. And won.”

Nobody says anything to that.

“Magic is real,” Tsukishima says carefully and precisely, like the words taste foreign on his tongue. They sound right at home to Akaashi.

“We know.”

Tsukishima nods.

“I’m Tsukishima.”

_We know._

It’s a beginning all over again.  
  
  


~*~

“So, you guys are witches?” Tsukishima asks a few days later, perched on a stool at the counter, the crystals hanging in the window catching the sun and throwing rainbows across his fine cheekbones.

He had slipped so easily back into the place in the shop and in their lives that was always carved out, just waiting for him to come back. He had returned to the shop almost every day that week, with notebooks full of questions and eyes dripping with curiosity.

Most days Bokuto and Kuroo fought for the spot at the counter across from Tsukishima, talking over each other to try and answer his questions first, clamoring for even a crumb of his attention. Akaashi preferred to just sit back and watch it all happen with a fond smile and a heart full to bursting. He brought them all cups of tea and rested his chin on his hand, simply basking in every moment they get to be with him again.

Tsukishima’s eyes would flit over to him every so often over the rim of his favorite green mug, like a magnetic pull he was helpless to fight against. He’d give Akaashi a little smile, tips of his ears turning pink when Akaashi grinned back at him with an adoration he’s sure he doesn’t hide well.

And that’s more than enough for him.

“Yup!” Bokuto beams proudly.

“I thought only girls could be witches.”

“Watch it.” Kuroo points a warning finger at Tsukishima with no real heat behind it. In fact, Akaashi is pretty sure he couldn’t wipe the lovestruck look off his face if he tried. They’ve all smiled more in the past few weeks than they have in almost a year.

“Common misconception,” Akaashi tells Tsukishima. “The media portrays women as witches so often that people have come to believe the term is gendered, but it simply refers to any person with a special connection to nature who practices witchcraft.

Tsukishima nods, jotting down a few notes, then looks up at them all expectantly.

“Can you show me?”

The three of them exchange a glance. Of course they knew if Tsukishima started coming around more often, this was an issue that might come up.

They’ve already discussed at length what was safe for them to tell Tsukishima about, and what was pushing too far. This was a critical point for him.

They decided that showing him their personal magic would be alright, as long as they follow the rules.

For Kuroo: _No full-body transformations. No partial-body transformations, either. Just don’t transform any part of anyone’s bodies, your own or otherwise._

For Bokuto: _No touching. No. Touching. Seriously, NO TOUCHING AT ALL._

For Akaashi: _All Green Magic is fine._

For all of them: _Don’t call him Kei. (Not magic related, but just as important.)_

Bokuto found his rule so cruel and unfair, he pouted severely enough to knock out all of their electricity, until Akaashi gently reminded him that if Bokuto so much as accidentally brushed up against Tsukishima for a single second, the entire thing could be ruined.

_“Tsukishima needs to remember again on his own,”_ that’s what they were told, over and over again. 

If Bokuto touches him, his powers might force too many feelings, too many memories, back into Tsukishima’s head all at once. 

He might hurt Tsukishima, and then he might never remember again. It’s a risk none of them are willing to take.

“Sure,” Kuroo finally answers for them all. “Prepare to be amazed, pretty boy.” He winks and Tsukishima blushes and scowls while Kuroo rummages around behind the counter for a few seconds. He makes a sound of victory and proudly holds out his find to Tsukishima. 

The blonde snorts indelicately.

“A card trick?” He raises a skeptical eyebrow at the deck in Kuroo’s hands. “Really?”

“Ah, come on, Tsukki! Magic is magic, no matter how big or how small,” he says sagely. Tsukishima wrinkles his nose at the nickname, but he had given up on getting Kuroo and Bokuto to drop it pretty early on. (It had taken him a lot longer to accept it the first time around.)

“Fine. Amaze me, then.”

“Great!” Kuroo fans out the cards in his hand and offers them to Tsukishima. “Pick a card, any card,” he proclaims grandly while Bokuto giggles over his shoulder. Tsukishima rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told. His fingers hover over the deck for a few seconds, glancing up at Kuroo as if trying to read something revealing in his expression. Eventually, he settles for one right in the middle of the deck.

“Perfect.” Kuroo tosses the rest of the deck over his shoulder and plucks the card right out of Tsukishima’s fingers.

“Hey!”

“Is this your card?” Kuroo asks, waggling his eyebrows.

“Of course it is,” Tsukishima huffs, clearly trying to bite back a grin. “That wasn’t real magic at all.”

Kuroo’s teasing grin turns into a cocky smirk.

“Are you sure about that?”

Akaashi hides his knowing smile behind his hand while Bokuto doesn’t even bother to smother his buoyant laughter. Tsukishima furrows his brows in confusion, but then his jaw drops, eyes going comically wide when, from one second to the next, the card in Kuroo’s hand turns into a vibrant red rose.

“What - How did you -?”

“Don’t look so surprised. It’s just a silly little card trick, right?” Kuroo winks and offers the rose to Tsukishima who takes it with cheeks bright enough to match the pigment. “I specialize in transformative magic. What you see is never what you get with me.”

Bokuto is nearly doubled over with laughter now, and it’s then that Tsukishima finally notices the way their tea has been bubbling over the rims of their cups ever since he started.

“Is that,” he looks over at Bokuto with wide eyes. “Is that you doing that?”

Bokuto manages a nod through his giggles, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Sorry! It’s a little hard to control sometimes. I’m an Empath, so my emotions can affect the things around me.”

“No kidding,” Tsukishima breathes. “And you?” He turns to Akaashi, eyes bright and blindingly wonder-filled. “What sort of powers do you have?” 

Wordlessly, Akaashi reaches for the rose in his hand. With an adorable bit of reluctance, Tsukishima hands it over.

Akaashi twirls the stem between his fingers for a few moments, then smirks at Kuroo as the flower begins to wither away at his touch. The stem dries up and the petals turn black and wilted, until it completely dies. Kuroo scowls and sticks his tongue out at him. 

Tsukishima gasps sharply, drawing Akaashi’s gaze back to him. With a kind smile, he brings the rose back to life, makes it bloom red and full and even more vibrant than before. He offers it to Tsukishima once again.

Tsukishima’s cheeks are no less red when he accepts the rose for the second time.

“That was really cool,” he tells Akaashi quietly, looking down at the counter between them with his face still flushed a pretty pink.

“Thanks,” Akaashi says just as quietly. “It’s, uh, Green Magic. I’m good with plants.”

_I’m good with plants? Smooth, Keiji._

Akaashi’s sure his cheeks aren’t faring much better than Tsukishima’s at this point. Bokuto’s hand slips into his and squeezes, and a burst of elation and love so strong it almost knocks him off his feet explodes through his palms.

He holds on tight to Bokuto and basks in the emotions passing between them, while Kuroo pouts at Tsukishima for not saying that _his_ magic was cool, turning card after card into beautiful wildflowers and thrusting them into Tsukishima’s arms until the blonde is flustered and giggling with a full bouquet cradled to his chest.

_He’s here, he’s here, he’s here,_ Akaashi can hear the flowers whisper delightedly, nestled happily in Tsukishima’s arms, kissing his cheeks and tickling the underside of his chin. It takes all of Akaashi’s level-headedness to not get jealous of a bunch of flowers and rip them straight out of Tsukishima’s arms to take their place.

It’s a near thing, but he holds himself back.

For Akaashi (add.): _For the love of Morgana, just don’t kiss him._

Worst rule ever.  
  
  


~*~

Kuroo breaks his rule first.

But of course he does. Who else could it be? After all, Kuroo is the rebellious man who grew from the rebellious boy that used to turn his teacher’s chalk into snakes when he got bored of their lessons.

He comes stomping down the stairs from their apartment above the shop one day while Akaashi is manning the register, flipping idly through a gardening magazine.

“Keiji,” he whines, flopping dramatically across the deck, crinkling the pages of Akaashi’s magazine. Akaashi sighs and takes off his reading glasses, folding them carefully and placing them a safe distance away from Kuroo’s flailing.

“Yes, dear?”

“It’s my hair,” Kuroo pouts, pointing to the wet strands that hang limply into his face. “It’s just awful.” He must have just gotten out of the shower then, since any other time, his hair sticks straight up at gravity-defying angles.

“I can see it,” Akaashi responds patiently. “It looks fine to me.”

“Bo locked the bathroom door with all of my products inside, and now it’s going to dry like this and be ruined!”

“Just hang upside down while it dries and you should get the same effect,” Akaashi suggests. Kuroo snorts a laugh.

“You’re hilarious. Really.”

Akaashi smirks, about to remind Kuroo that he can just turn literally anything he wants into a key to unlock the bathroom door, when a head of blonde catches his eye out the window.

“Oh,” he says, warmth blooming like a field of wildflowers in his chest. “Kei is here.”

Kuroo’s face lights up before quickly morphing into an expression of horror.

“No, oh no! I can’t let him see me like this!” His hands fly up to his hair, covering it the best he can with both hands.

“Honestly,” Akaashi huffs. “It doesn’t look that different than usual.”

“How am I supposed to make Kei fall for me again when I look like a drowned rat?” Kuroo snaps, just as the bell over the door announces Tsukishima’s entrance.

“I don’t know,” Akaashi says. “But you better figure it out - Hey! You know you’re not supposed to -!”

His protests die in his throat as the black cat now sitting in Kuroo’s place leaps behind the counter and hides behind his legs just as Tsukishima spots Akaashi and raises his hand in a little wave. Akaashi’s heart, which was already pounding with panic at the thought of Tsukishima seeing Kuroo transform, quickly picks up pace for an entirely different reason. The same reason it does every time Tsukishima walks through that door.

_He’s here, he’s here, he’s here._

“Hello, Tsukishima.” Akaashi sounds out every syllable on his tongue, slowly and precisely. Savoring it.

“Hi. I, uh,” he holds up the tray in his hand. “I was grabbing a smoothie on my way over and I thought it would be rude to show up with only one for myself, so I got some for you guys, too. I just guessed what flavors you would like, sorry.”

“Oh, that’s very sweet,” Akaashi says as Tsukishima sets the tray of drinks on the counter, gently nudging Kuroo further back with his foot. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Tsukishima shrugs, cheeks pink.

“It’s the least I could do, considering you let me loiter around your place of business all the time.”

_It’s not loitering if you belong here._

“Nonsense. We love having you around.”

“Okay, so I got mango and papaya for you,” Tsukishima says, pointing to the first smoothie. “Blueberry and pineapple for Kuroo, and some sort of green looking thing for Bokuto. I don’t know, he just looks like someone who drinks green things. Based on his, uh, physique.” Tsukishima’s blush grows a little darker, but Akaashi barely notices.

Tsukishima has no idea, but he ordered all of their favorites. Somewhere deep down, he still _remembers._

“That’s perfect, Tsukishima,” Akaashi says, trying his best not to burst into tears. “Thank -”

He’s cut off by a small black figure leaping up from behind the counter, lunging straight for the blueberry and pineapple smoothie.

“Woah!” Tsukishima startles, stumbling back a step and grabbing his chest with his hands. His glasses slip slightly down his nose as he stares wide-eyed at the black cat blinking right back up at him.

“Damnit!” Akaashi curses, grabbing the smoothies out of Kuroo’s reach before he can knock them over and glaring disapprovingly at him. “Sorry about that, Tsukishima. Look what you did, you scared him,” he scolds Kuroo.

“Ah, it’s okay,” Tsukishima says sheepishly and Akaashi wants so badly to reach over and fix his glasses for him. He has to literally dig his nails into his palms to stop himself and watch as Tsukishima does it himself. “When did you guys get a cat?”

“We, uh, always had him,” Akaashi answers, cursing Kuroo for forcing him to lie to Tsukishima. “He’s just shy.”

“Hm.” Tsukishima reaches out a hand tentatively and pets the top of Kuroo’s silky head. “He must be used to me being around here all the time by now, huh?” He sounds pleased at the notion.

He looks even _more_ pleased when Kuroo suddenly launches himself straight into Tsukishima’s arms.

Tsukishima laughs, the wind chimes over their heads echoing the sound until the shop is full of it, light and twinkling. Akaashi watches helplessly (and with no small amount of jealousy) as Kuroo settles right into Tsukishima’s arms, purring up a storm. That is so _cheating._

“He likes me,” Tsukishima says with wonder.

_He loves you._

“Guess so,” Akaashi sighs, propping his head up on his hands. Nothing to be done about it now. He’ll scold Kuroo about breaking his rule later, but for now, it’s hard to be angry with Tsukishima looking so delighted with Kuroo happily cuddled up in his arms.

Tsukishima strokes Kuroo’s head a few more times, scratching behind his ears and giggling when it earns him a gentle nuzzle to the underside of his chin. The smoothies are all but forgotten for a few minutes, before he remembers them again.

“Where are Kuroo and Bokuto, anyways?”

“Um.” Akaashi takes a long sip of his smoothie to stall. “Bokuto is in the shower.”

“And Kuroo?”

“Kuroo is…also in the shower.”

Tsukishima’s face turns a brilliant shade of pink.

“They’re…both in the shower?”

Akaashi wants to kick himself in the face when he realizes the implication of his words. He swears Kuroo is laughing at him from his place held against Tsukishima’s chest.

“No! No, uh, what I meant to say was that Kuroo was just in the shower, and Bokuto is currently in the shower. Kuroo should be down any minute now,” he adds pointedly at the end. 

With what Akaashi can only assume is a cat’s version of a disgruntled sigh, Kuroo leaps out of Tsukishima’s arms and darts up the stairs.

Barely a minute later, Kuroo is making his way back down, in human form this time.

Tsukishima hands Kuroo his smoothie while staring at his head with his nose scrunched up.

“You’re wearing a hat,” he points out. Kuroo laughs awkwardly and tugs at the dark beanie pulled almost down to his eyes.

“Believe it or not, my dear Tsukki, even _I_ have bad hair days.”

“Worse than usual, you mean?” Tsukishima smirks. Kuroo gasps and clutches his heart.

“From the bottom of my heart: Ouch.”

Tsukishima laughs, and it’s no less wondrous than the first time. He looks thoughtfully at Kuroo’s hat for a moment, then shrugs.

“It’s weird, but I actually kind of miss your hair,” he admits. Kuroo gapes at him.

“You - You do?”

Tsukishima shrugs again, refusing to meet Kuroo’s slightly misty eyes.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Shut up about it.”

And neither of them tells Tsukishima that of course he misses it, because he used to fall asleep almost every night with his fingers carding through Kuroo’s hair. That he loved the silky strands slipping through his hands like water, that if he was ever nervous or anxious he would reach for Kuroo and twist a million tiny braids into his hair until he calmed down.

They don’t tell him, but Akaashi knows they’re both thinking it. Kuroo is obviously struggling not to cry.

Bokuto comes down a few minutes later, hair still wet and dripping down his neck with a towel slung around his shoulders.

When he sees that Tsukishima has gotten him his favorite smoothie, he _does_ cry.  
  
  


~*~

Some days, (not that anyone ever minds that he doesn’t) Tsukishima comes by the magic shop to actually buy something. It’s only ever small things, and never for himself. A few more good luck charms for Hinata and Kageyama before big games, and a potted camellia for courage to give to Yachi before a big pitch at work.

“Does this really work?” Tsukishima asks, holding up a bottle of calming potion. 

_It should,_ Akaashi thinks. _We brewed it together._

“Every item in the shop works exactly the way it’s supposed to,” Akaashi reminds him instead. Tsukishima rolls his eyes, but it’s good-natured. More a reaction to how often Akaashi repeats the same line to him than actual annoyance.

“I’ll buy one of these, then. Actually, better make that two. My brother is getting married this weekend and he’s so nervous, he wrote ‘plus three’ on my invitation instead of ‘plus one’.” Tsukishima shakes his head. “He’s finally cracked, I swear.”

Akaashi forces a smile and Kuroo manages a strangled sounding laugh. Bokuto bites down harshly on his wobbling bottom lip and a lightbulb behind him bursts.

Well. That one hurt.

Tsukishima reaches for his wallet and Akaashi waves him off.

“Consider it a wedding gift. On us.”

Tsukishima frowns. “But you don’t even know my brother? You should let me pay for it. I insist.”

“And we insist _not,”_ Kuroo says brightly.

“This isn’t a very good business plan,” Tsukishima grumbles petulantly. “You never make me pay for anything. I’m starting to feel bad.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Akaashi reaches for Tsukishima’s wrist on instinct, feeling little shockwaves dance up his fingers at the contact. “Really, we love weddings. Let us do this.”

Tsukishima glances briefly down at Akaashi’s fingers around him and he nods, eyes still lowered.

“Okay,” he worries his bottom lip. “But next time, I’m paying,” he adds firmly.

They all agree, even though they know it’s not going to happen.

Bokuto packages the potion up for him in a special little gift wrap with a bow on top. He gives it to Kuroo to hand to Tsukishima to avoid their hands accidentally overlapping, and Tsukishima waves goodbye to them all on his way out.

“Tell Akiteru we said congrats,” Akaashi calls after him. Tsukishima gives him a weird look over his shoulder before the door closes behind him.

Bokuto and Kuroo snicker at him and Akaashi purses his lips in confusion.

“What?”

“You forgot to wait for him to tell you his brother’s name,” Kuroo informs him.

Akaashi blinks. “Oh. Shoot.”

“I guess this means we’re not invited to the wedding anymore, huh?” Bokuto sighs. Kuroo slings an arm around his shoulder and shakes his head with his chin propped on Bokuto’s shoulder. Akaashi reaches for his hand and lets Bokuto share some of his sadness with him. It feels the same as his, anyways.  
  
  


~*~

Akaashi could watch Tsukishima and Bokuto together forever.

Nobody makes Tsukishima laugh the way Bokuto does, and in turn, nobody makes Bokuto laugh the way Tsukishima does. It’s a special kind of laugh, reserved just for the two of them, and as badly as Akaashi used to want to break into their private little bubble, he quickly grew to appreciate how just as wonderful it could be to watch from the outside.

Kuroo has an arm slung across his shoulders as they both lean across the counter, watching with helpless little grins as Bokuto and Tsukishima sit hunched together on the floor beneath one of the tallest bookshelves. Bokuto is dramatically reading aloud from a grimoire that must be from at least the eighteenth century, completely butchering the pronunciation of the old language. Tsukishima is hiccuping with laughter, flipping through the stack of books in front of him and pointing at various passages for Bokuto to read to him.

Every once in a while, Tsukishima will fall forward with the force of his laughter, his forehead landing somewhere on Bokuto’s shoulder. Akaashi’s breath will catch in his throat, waiting for disaster, but each time Bokuto quickly manages to calm himself and shifts so that Tsukishima’s face is nowhere near the collar of his shirt, a safe distance away from any skin contact.

“They’re such dorks,” Kuroo sighs happily.

Akaashi smiles and leans his head onto Kuroo’s shoulder.

“I haven’t seen Koutarou like this in so long. It’s nice, having Kei back.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo agrees. Then, more seriously. “I know you’re usually the logical one and all, but I feel like I have to remind you… We can’t get ahead of ourselves here. Kei is back physically, yes, but he’s not - he’s not _back_ yet.”

A pit that Akaashi had been trying very hard to ignore these past few weeks opens up in his stomach. Thanks a lot, Kuroo. His displeasure must be showing on his face, because Kuroo laughs quietly and pinches his arm.

“Stop making that face, you’ll scare the children.”

“What chil - oh.” Akaashi’s scowl melts into a grin when he follows Kuroo’s pointed look over to Bokuto and Tsukishima. “Sorry, I just - You’re right. I know all of that, of course. It was just nice to pretend for a little while.”

“He’s doing well,” Kuroo says. “He’s doing _really_ well. We just need to be patient a little longer.”

Akaashi hums and lets his eyes drift shut, listening to the sounds of Tsukishima and Bokuto’s laughter, feeling Kuroo’s chest rise and fall with his steady breaths.

Then, he hears a break in the giggling, and Tsukishima’s voice say: “Hey, where’s your cat? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Akaashi’s eyes fly open, standing up straight just in time to catch Bokuto’s bewildered expression.

“Cat? What cat? Oh, are you talking about K -”

“Kevin!” Akaashi blurts out. “You remember, our cat _Kevin?”_

Bokuto’s eyes widen with realization, nodding his head quickly.

“Oh, yes, Kevin! He’s, uh, he's not around today.”

Tsukishima snorts a laugh. “You named your cat Kevin? Poor thing, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ran away.”

Kuroo’s lips curl into a smirk, chin in his hand with his pinky finger tapping at the corner of his lips teasingly. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Especially if you’re gonna be all cute and cuddle him again.”

Bokuto makes a choked off noise, sitting up with a betrayed look on his face.

“What? You cuddled Ku- Kevin? That’s so unfair,” he whines.

Kuroo’s smirk stretches wider as Tsukishima huffs and blushes.

“Didn’t take you for a cat person, Tsukki,” he sing-songs. 

“How do you even know about that?” Tsukishima accuses. “You weren’t there.”

“Akaashi here gave me _aaaaaaall_ the sordid details, didn’t ya?”

Akaashi curses Kuroo under his breath, feeling his face grow dangerously hot. Tsukishima scowls at him, lower lip jutting out, and he’s just so _cute_ and Akaashi is going to _murder_ Kuroo.

“Ah, don’t be too mad at him, Tsukki.” Kuroo pinches one of Akaashi’s flaming cheeks. “He just couldn’t help but gush over how _adorable_ you - Oof!” Kuroo stumbles away from Akaashi, thankfully shutting up when Akaashi drives his elbow into his ribcage.

He's too mortified to even look at Tsukishima’s face right now.

And then, the shop is filled with laughter.

It starts with Bokuto, loud and throaty and powerful enough to make the fairy lights strung up around the shop dance. Then, it’s Kuroo, slapping his hands down on the counter and throwing his head back to the sky.

Finally, Akaashi tears his eyes away from the ground in front of him and meets Tsukishima’s gaze. The blonde looks just as flustered as Akaashi feels, cheeks bright and eyes wide. And then, suddenly, they’re both bursting into laughter, too.

It doesn’t matter that they’re laughing at his expense. It doesn’t matter that Tsukishima still doesn’t remember. It doesn’t matter that the hardest part is yet to come.

All that matters is that the four of them are together, alive and happy and healthy. Right here and right now, exactly where they belong. 

And their laughter is the most magical thing in the entire shop.  
  
  


~*~

Surprisingly - or maybe not surprisingly at all - Akaashi is the next person to break his rule.

Bokuto and Kuroo are out on their monthly supply run in the city, which means they’re going to be gone the entire day, probably late into the evening. Of course, there was no way for Tsukishima to know that when he came by.

“Hm,” he says when Akaashi tells him, the tone of his voice unreadable. “I guess it’s just you and me today, then.”

For some reason, that simple observation makes butterflies erupt in Akaashi’s stomach.

“Yeah,” he swallows hard. “Just me and you.”

Tsukishima peeks up from his notebook and gives Akaashi a tiny, almost shy smile. Akaashi melts into it, insides calming instantly.

Things go exactly the way they usually do for the most part of the day. Tsukishima sits on his stool at the counter, flipping through books and taking diligent notes. Sometimes he writes about magic, sometimes he does work for his internship at the local museum. Akaashi flits around the shop, tending to his plants, helping the occasional customer, answering any questions Tsukishima asks him.

Then, he remembers the saplings in the greenhouse out back that need special attention while they’re still babies in the early stages. Not even food or water necessarily, but much like human children, or animals, they grow better with attention and socialization, care and words of affirmation.

Akaashi glances up at Tsukishima, who appears to have finished his work, or at least be taking a break, as he’s arranging a handful of chakra stones into rainbow order on the counter in front of him.

“Tsukishima?” He gets the blonde’s attention, hating the way his nerves sneak into his voice. _It’s just Tsukishima,_ he reminds himself.

But it was never _just_ Tsukishima, was it?

“Yeah?” Tsukishima looks up at him over the wire rims of his glasses.

“Do you, um, I mean, would you like to come out back to the greenhouse with me? I have some work to do out there, and I don’t want to leave you alone. Not that - Not that I don’t trust you alone in the shop or anything, I just thought you might want to see it. The greenhouse. With me.”

If Kuroo and Bokuto were here to witness this train wreck, they would never let him hear the end of it.

Luckily, Tsukishima is much more forgiving. He simply grins and nods, pushing away from the counter and standing, making absolutely no comment on what an imbecile Akaashi just made of himself.

“Sounds like fun.” Tsukishima’s cheeks suddenly grow pink and Akaashi is too transfixed by the way he’s biting his lip at first to notice why, but - 

Oh.

Tsukishima is holding on his hand for Akaashi to take.

It’s not like he couldn’t have easily just _followed_ Akaashi out to the greenhouse, which means that he just - he just wants Akaashi to hold his hand.

And boy does Akaashi want that, too.

Akaashi takes his hand, interlocks his fingers with Tsukishima’s long, delicate ones that fit with his so perfectly. So familiarly.

They blush like a couple of virgins, stealing glances at each other out of the corners of their eyes the whole walk there.

And even once they’re _in_ the greenhouse, Akaashi has to gently (and reluctantly) remind Tsukishima that he needs both hands to work before the blonde finally lets him go.

Tsukishima is quiet, though Akaashi is distinctly aware of those piercing amber eyes on him, as he makes his way around the greenhouse, murmuring to each of his plants in turn. Most of them want to talk about Tsukishima, and Akaashi had forgotten that the plants out here didn’t know about his return. He tries to keep his responses as vague as possible, knowing that Tsukishima was listening in, but the general consensus is the same.

_We’re so happy he’s home._

_Me too,_ Akaashi whispers back.

He takes special care to spend plenty of time talking to the youngest saplings, using a softer tone than he did with the older plants. They don’t know Tsukishima yet, and they ask endless questions. Akaashi answers as best he can without tipping Tsukishima off that he’s talking about him.

_He’s special?_ They ask. _Someone special to you?_

“Yes,” Akaashi answers without thinking. “He’s very special.”

“Who?”

Akaashi turns quickly, nearly stumbling over his feet in his haste and panic.

“I - Um -”

Even if Akaashi did have a good answer to that question, he’s not sure he would have been able to speak in that moment anyways. He’d been so distracted by his plants and his work, he didn’t notice the sun starting to set. The way it filters through the windows and catches on the crystals hanging from the greenhouse ceiling.

The way it makes Tsukishima glow. His edges fuzzy and golden, like a dream.

But he’s even _better_ than a dream, because this time he’s actually _here._

Akaashi’s heart sticks thickly in his throat.

“Akaashi,” Tsukishima says, voice barely a whisper. It’s then that Akaashi notices the way he’s slightly trembling. “Who were you talking about?”

And Akaashi doesn’t answer because he knows he doesn’t have to and Tsukishima knows it, too.

The air around them feels light and heavy at the same time, like Akaashi can’t move his own body but he also can’t _stop_ his body from moving, step by step, until he and Tsukishima are practically toe-to-toe. He hears Tsukishima’s sharp intake of air. The plants around them are singing and dancing and nothing feels real but it feels more _real_ than anything Akaashi has felt since… Since…

If this all really is a dream, Akaashi prays that nobody ever wakes him from it. That he could be allowed to stay here, just a bit longer, with Tsukishima’s hands shaking and desperate, twisted in the front of his shirt. With his hands brushing through Tsukishima’s buttery blonde curls, their noses bumping and breaths mingling between them. That sweet, _sweet_ moment of anticipation before finally, blessedly, miraculously, Tsukishima’s lips are on his.

Akaashi swallows down the surprised and devastated little moan that Tsukishima makes, licks at the seam of his lips and parts them with his tongue to draw out more, more noises, to drink them up like a man dying of thirst. Tsukishima gives them all, gives them freely. Akaashi feels himself tip over the line from quenching his thirst to drowning in it, drowning in Tsukishima.

He tastes the same, sounds the same, moves against him in just the same way. This is his Tsukishima. His, his, his.

This is everything.

This is _his_ everything.

When they finally part, slowly, dragging out every last touch of their lips, Tsukishima’s lips are kiss-swollen and his eyes are glazed over and his glasses sit slightly crooked on the bridge of his nose.

Akaashi fixes them for him.

“I - I thought,” Tsukishima starts breathlessly. “You and Kuroo - And - And Bokuto -”

“We are,” Akaashi confirms.

“I don’t understand,” Tsukishima whispers. He looks as lost and beautiful as he did the day he walked into the magic shop for what he thought was the first time.

“I -” Akaashi’s words catch helplessly in his throat. “I can’t explain it to you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Tsukishima’s eyes suddenly grow wide and panicked.

“Should we - Should we not have?”

“No!” Akaashi shouts louder than he means to. Tsukishima flinches back slightly at the sound and Akaashi is quick to catch him with gentle hands at his cheeks. “No, I didn’t mean we shouldn’t have. I meant, we just… Shouldn’t have, yet.”

Tsukishima looks close to tears.

“Are they going to hate me?” He asks quietly. “Kuroo and Bokuto?”

“No,” Akaashi says firmly. “No, they could never hate you. I promise, they never could.”

Despite his reassurances, Tsukishima starts to tremble again.

“Akaashi, I have to tell you something. It’s not - I mean, I’m not just - It’s them, too. I - Them, too,” he tries to explain desperately. Akaashi shushes him and brushes a few stray tears from the corners of his eyes.

“It’s okay. I know. I know, and everything is okay.”

Tsukishima lets out a broken little sob and collapses into his arms. Akaashi holds him tightly through it, feeling Tsukishima’s tears soak his shirt. Feeling his own heart breaking. It’s not fair. The world is so unfair, to make him watch Tsukishima hurting and confused like this and not be able to tell him the truth. The greenhouse is suddenly filled with the sounds of crying, human and plant alike.

The line between love and tragedy is so thin when it comes to Tsukishima.

“It’s okay,” Akaashi repeats, even though his shattering heart knows that it’s not. Knows that Kuroo was right to warn him not to get too far ahead of himself, and now he’s gone and hurt Tsukishima in his own selfishness.

“I feel like - like I’m missing something,” Tsukishima admits in a broken whisper. “Or someone. Like a part of me, or - Or - I don’t know.” One hand comes up to clutch at his chest, right over his heart. “It’s here. It hurts so badly, right here. I don’t know how to make it stop.”

Akaashi just holds onto Tsukishima tighter, tighter, tighter. Like if he holds on tight enough, he'll never have to let go again.

“I’m so sorry,” Akaashi cries softly into Tsukishima’s hair.

Because none of this is Tsukishima’s fault.

It’s _his._  
  
  


~*~

Tsukishima doesn’t come by the shop again over the next few weeks.

The guilt nearly consumes Akaashi alive when Kuroo and Bokuto start moping around after the first few days without him. The moping turns into deafening silence, a quietness that hangs over their heads and threatens to crush them completely. He catches them both crying alone sometimes, separately.

He doesn’t have the heart to tell them what happened with Tsukishima in the greenhouse that day.

That it’s his fault.

That he ruined it all.

_Again._

They have trouble with intimacy. Even more so lately than usual. It’s been hard ever since… Well.

It’ll start off simply, with a kiss here, a burning touch there, a push and a pull until the three of them are so tangled together that it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins. And it’s nice and it feels _good_.

For a little while.

And then - 

Then, one of them will go reaching for a hand that isn’t there. Will turn for a kiss that tastes like butterscotch and honeysuckle and get only the cold sheets, the untouched part of the bed in return.

Will call out the name of a ghost.

They all usually end up in tears after that.

Bit of a mood killer.  
  
  


~*~

“Hi.”

_Hi,_ Tsukishima says. Hi, like it hasn’t been almost a month since they’ve seen him. Hi, like they hadn’t already mourned him all over again, sure that they finally lost him for good. Hi, like they weren’t just sitting around waiting for him to show up and give their lives color and meaning and purpose again.

“Hi.”

_Hi,_ Akaashi says. Hi, because it doesn’t matter how long Tsukishima goes away for, they’ll always welcome him back with open arms. Hi, because every day they still foolishly hoped and wished and wondered if maybe they hadn’t lost him after all. Hi, because they would wait for him forever.

Their eyes meet and a silent conversation passes between them.

_I needed time._

_I know, I’m sorry._

_I’m just so confused._

_I know, I’m sorry._

_I missed you._

_I missed you._

“Tsukki!” Kuroo cheers, tackling the blonde with a bone-crushing hug. 

Bokuto is beaming so wide it nearly jumps off his face, and the radio starts blasting an old love song from the 50s. He’s practically vibrating with excitement, and it’s clear he wants to jump Tsukishima in a big hug, too, but he settles for squeezing Akaashi’s hand hard enough to bruise. His emotions come pouring out of him until Akaashi is practically drunk with secondhand happiness, but it also might be his own.

It feels the same as his, anyways.  
  
  


~*~

“I forgot a pen.”

Kuroo hums disinterestedly, but Akaashi can see the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.

Tsukishima huffs and pokes Kuroo’s shoulder, saying more pointedly, “I _forgot_ a _pen.”_

Finally, Kuroo looks up, feigning surprise.

“Oh, sorry, Tsukki, were you talking to me?”

“I forgot to bring a pen today. Could you make me one?”

Kuroo hums. “Do I look like a pen manufacturer to you?”

“Yes.”

“Touché.”

Tsukishima laughs and points to the front of Kuroo’s jacket. “Just use one of your buttons, your jacket’s already missing a bunch of them anyways.”

Akaashi bites his lip and Kuroo’s smirk slides off his face. Neither of them mentions that the reason his jacket is already missing so many buttons is from Tsukishima making this exact request many times before.

“And what will I get in return?”

“I won’t put my foot up your ass,” Tsukishima offers magnanimously. It startles a laugh out of both Kuroo and Akaashi.

Kuroo taps his chin thoughtfully. “I was thinking something more along the lines of…a kiss.”

Akaashi’s heart stutters to a halt, all vital organs failing. Tsukishima’s face goes beet red as he tries very obviously not to look over at Akaashi.

They didn’t talk about the kiss. Not even when they were alone, not even in whispers. Things simply went back to normal, like it never happened at all.

“Wha - What?” Tsukishima manages in a slightly strangled voice. Kuroo grins at him, all sharp teeth and glinting golden eyes. Akaashi holds his breath, waiting for Kuroo’s response. Is he supposed to just let this happen? Let Kuroo kiss Tsukishima after the disaster that came from his own kiss with the blonde? What if it scares him away again?

Kuroo nods, leaning further over the counter until he’s right in Tsukishima’s space. Akaashi can hear Tsukishima’s quiet gasp ring out like a gunshot in the quiet stillness of the shop. He subconsciously licks his own lips as their faces get closer and closer, Tsukishima’s mouth parting in surprise and…anticipation? 

Oh, it’s agony to watch. It’s agony to wait. Akaashi feels as frozen and helpless as he did the day he kissed Tsukishima.

And then, right as there’s almost no space between their lips left at all, Kuroo turns his head to the side with a bright grin.

“Right here!” He taps his cheek with a wink.

Tsukishima blinks at him a few seconds longer, still looking slightly dazed. When he realizes what’s happened, his eyes narrow dangerously.

“You - You’re such an ass!” He stammers, collecting his things in a rush.

“Aw, come on,” Kuroo laughs, reaching out to stop him. “I was just playing around, stay here and I’ll make you a - Ouch!”

Tsukishima finally stops at Kuroo’s pained yelp.

“What? What happened?”

Kuroo grins sheepishly at him, letting a handful of Tsukishima’s papers drop back onto the table and holding up his pointer finger. There’s a little bead of blood at the tip.

“Papercut.”

Tsukishima sighs, but sits back in his seat.

“Big baby,” he grumbles. Kuroo plucks a button of his jacket and produces a fancy looking fountain pen for Tsukishima, holding it out to him like a peace offering. Tsukishima looks at it for a second, considering, before taking the pen.

Kuroo starts to pull his hand away, but Tsukishima suddenly grabs him by it and yanks him further across the counter so that he can plant a chaste kiss to Kuroo’s cheek. It was a simple, innocent cheek kiss, but when Kuroo blinks up at him in surprise, his face is redder than Akaashi has ever seen it.

Almost absentmindedly, he reaches up a hand to touch his cheek where Tsukishima’s lips had touched him.

“Oh. Wow.”

Then, he looks down at his hand and his smile grows even wider.

It’s not until later, after Tsukishima has left the shop for the evening, that Kuroo reveals why.

He holds out his hand to Akaashi, with a smile brighter than the full moon shining through the window outside. Akaashi takes it, confused as to why it’s making Kuroo so happy at first, but then he sees it.

The finger where Kuroo had gotten his papercut - it was perfectly unblemished.

“He’s still got it,” Kuroo laughs delightedly.

“He’s still got it,” Akaashi breathes back.

His fingers trace reverently over the healed wound.  
  
  


~*~

Perhaps, Akaashi should have seen it coming.

The downfall.

Things had been going well, too well. It was naive to think that they could stay this way, in their happy little bubble where Tsukishima didn’t remember, but at least he was here.

“Do you have any books on gardening?” Tsukishima trails his fingers over the spines of a few books. “I want to get one for my mom.”

Akaashi nods, slightly distracted as he and Kuroo work on inventory for the shop. He waves a hand in the general direction.

“Top shelf.”

“How am I supposed to get them, then?”

Akaashi has to smile to himself when he hears the pout in Tsukishima’s voice without even having to look up at him.

“Oh!” Bokuto says excitedly. “I can help! Let me grab the ladder from the back.”

It’s quiet for a while, he and Kuroo focused on their counting and note-taking, while Tsukishima directs Bokuto all around the shop, telling him different places to set up the ladder in. There’s a storm outside, and the monotonous sound of the rain hitting the roof and the distant rumble of thunder lull them into a peaceful routine.

It’s quiet, until it’s nothing but chaos.

“Hey, Tsukki,” Bokuto says, sounding slightly nervous. “Why don’t you climb back down and I’ll move the ladder closer to that one for you, okay?”

“No, no,” Tsukishima responds stubbornly. “I’ve almost got it.”

“Tsukki,” Bokuto repeats, this time more worried than before. Akaashi and Kuroo look at each other, then quickly over their shoulders.

Tsukishima is on the very top rung of the ladder with Bokuto standing at the bottom supporting the base for him. He’s stretched all the way out, as far as he can go. Reaching for a book just out of his grasp. Akaashi can see his fingertips brush the spine, and he leans just a little bit further.

It’s like it all happens in slow motion.

Tsukishima loses his balance, overshooting his lean by just a little too far. 

Tsukishima loses his footing, toes slipping from the ladder. 

Tsukishima screams and his arms flail, trying to regain his balance. Trying to find something to grab onto.

Nothing.

He falls.

“Kei!” Bokuto shouts in alarm. He lets go of the ladder and positions himself just underneath Tsukishima, arms outstretched and waiting, catching him just before he can hit the ground. They fall the rest of the way together with the force of it, but Tsukishima is held safely in Bokuto’s arms and neither of them are hurt.

Akaashi hadn’t realized that he was screaming, too, until he stopped. But his relief was short lived.

“Oh, no,” Kuroo whispers, horrified. It takes Akaashi a second longer to realize what Kuroo had.

Bokuto’s hands are wrapped securely around Tsukishima’s biceps. His bare arms.

There’s another scream. No, two more. Maybe three. Tsukishima’s eyes roll so far back in his head, that only the whites of them show. Bokuto’s do the same.

A horrible fear like Akaashi has never known before seizes hold of him, like a freezing hand squeezing his lungs. It’s over. It’s over it’s over and - and he has no idea what’s going on. Bokuto’s powers have never had this effect on himself or on anyone else before.

No, no, he can’t lose them. He can’t lose them _both._

Tsukishima is still screaming, wailing these terrible sounds that sound like they’re being ripped out of him. Bokuto has a death-grip on his arms and the walls of the shop are trembling, trembling.

“Bo!” Kuroo shouts. “Bo, you have to stop!”

“Bokuto!” Akaashi joins in, voice broken and shaking. “Koutarou! Let go of him! Let go! You’re hurting him - You’re _hurting_ him!”

Finally, the words seem to break through to Bokuto.

He drops Tsukishima like he’s been burned and scoots quickly away, panting for breath while Tsukishima coughs and clutches at his head and curls up with his knees practically up to his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Bokuto looks at his hands with horror. “Oh, I’m so - I’m so sorry.”

Kuroo goes to Bokuto, wraps his arms around him and rubs his shoulders and tells him that it’s not his fault. Cautiously, Akaashi approaches Tsukishima. He can’t see the blonde’s face, but he can hear his ragged breathing. Tentatively, he reaches out and places a hand at his back.

“Tsuki -”

“No!” Tsukishima shouts, jolting away from his touch like a wounded animal. His eyes are wide and afraid and and this is _Akaashi’s fault, all his fault._

“What -” Tsukishima looks between the three of them. The look on his face, so distant and afraid, makes Bokuto begin to sob. “What -” He starts again.

“Tsukishima,” Akaashi tries again. It stings, oh it hurts like a knife to the heart, when he reaches for Tsukishima and is met with more fear. More repulsion.

“Don’t,” he starts, scrambling to his feet and backing away from them. “Don’t - I can’t - Just don’t.”

“Wait!” Akaashi shouts desperately when Tsukishima wretches the door open and runs - literally _runs_ \- from them, and out into the storm. He starts after him, but a firm hand grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back.

“Keiji, stop,” Kuroo says. He’s the most composed out of the three of them, but even his voice sounds close to tears. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“But - But there’s a storm. And he’s - Tetsurou, he’s so _scared.”_ Akaashi feels unhinged, untethered, undone.

“I know.” Kuroo pulls him into his arms, wrapping both Akaashi and Bokuto in his embrace. “I know, I know, I know.”

“I -” Bokuto hiccups through his sobs. “I broke my rule,” he whimpers.

“Yeah,” Kuroo says sadly. “Me, too.”

Akaashi swallows the lump of dread in his throat.

“I - I did, too,” he admits in a broken whisper. Neither Kuroo nor Bokuto respond. He’s not sure if it’s because they already knew, or they didn’t want to know.

Either way, Tsukishima is gone now. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.

“Do you…” Bokuto starts quietly, clutching Kuroo’s shirt and Akaashi’s hand. It’s funny, he can’t even feel any of Bokuto’s sadness. He can only feel his own. “Do you think he’ll come back?”

Akaashi squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself not to break completely.

“I hope so.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, basking in their misery.

“Ah, crap,” Bokuto breaks the silence. “I broke _two_ rules. I called him ‘Kei’. Do you think he noticed?”

“Yeah, Bo,” Kuroo sighs. “I think he noticed.”  
  
  


~*~

They don’t lock the front door of the shop that night. They don’t go upstairs to bed, either. They sit up against the counter with blankets wrapped around their shoulders and hot cups of tea in their hands and heavy, so heavy, hearts.

Somewhere around two thirty in the morning, the door finally squeaks open.

Tsukishima is drenched from head to toe, shivering and dripping rainwater all over the floor. His clothes stick to him like a second skin and his hair is matted to his forehead.

“How -” he starts in a raw, scratchy voice. “How could I - How could I _forget_ you?”

He drops to his knees, face crumpling as he breaks, breaks apart at every seam, and sobs with a force and a loss that breaks, breaks Akaashi apart at every seam.

The three of them are at his side in an instant. Akaashi on one side, Kuroo on the other, Bokuto sliding in behind him with his legs bracketing Tsukishima’s hips and his arms wrapped around his middle.

“I’m sorry,” Tsukishima cries, over and over again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean - I did-didn’t mean to forget you. I don’t know - I - I didn’t mean to.”

“We know,” Akaashi whispers through his own tears. “We know you didn’t, sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“Oh, Kei,” Bokuto buries his face in the back of Tsukishima’s neck. “Kei, Kei, Kei,” like a prayer.

“We love you, Moonshine.” Kuroo takes his hand and kisses each knuckle again and again. “It’s so good to have you back, we love you so much.”

“Love - Love you, too,” Tsukishima sniffles back. “Wha - What happened?”

Akaashi takes a deep breath. Pulls Tsukishima in by the back of his neck until their foreheads are pressed together and breathes the most awful truth between them.

“It was my fault. It was all my fault, Kei.”  
  
  


~*~

_Not your fault,_ they told Akaashi. _Never your fault,_ they told Akaashi. _There’s no way we could have known, _they told Akaashi. _You can’t put this all on yourself,_ they told Akaashi.__

__But it was. He knew it was._ _

__He woke up every day that Tsukishima was gone and he _knew_ it was his own fault._ _

__After they all managed to stop crying long enough to move off the floor, they locked the doors and finally brought Tsukishima upstairs. Brought him _home._ They dried him off and got him some warm clothes to change into and wrapped him up in blankets, sandwiched between them on the bed._ _

__And they told him what had happened. The story of the most tragic love of their lives._ _

__“Keiji got sick,” Kuroo begins, head in Tsukishima’s lap while his fingers card through his hair. “Real sick. The - The kind of sick you don’t get better from.”_ _

__Tsukishima’s hand tightens in Kuroo’s hair, one reaching out for Akaashi’s hand._ _

__“How?” He asks in a small voice._ _

__“New species of plant the city coven leaders sent here to have him look into. Said it kept popping up all over the place, and they wanted to know if it was dangerous or not. Obviously, Keiji is the best Green Witch in the city, so they asked for his help. Turns out… Turns out it was dangerous.”_ _

__“Poisonous,” Bokuto jumps in. “But since it had never been seen before, nobody knew what the cure was. Keiji spent hours every day working in the greenhouse with that thing, and by the time he realized…”_ _

__“The damage was done,” Akaashi finishes himself. Tsukishima sucks in a sharp breath, turning to Akaashi with big, sad eyes._ _

__“No - No, but I - I would have _noticed.”__ _

__“Undetectable.”_ _

__“Then I - I would have _healed_ you!”_ _

__Akaashi smiles sadly._ _

__“Oh, sweetheart, you did. But you shouldn’t have.”_ _

__Kuroo and Bokuto both make sounds of dissent, but Akaashi ignores them, holding Tsukishima’s hand to his chest where his heart only beats _because_ of Tsukishima._ _

__“It’s my fault, Kei. Everything that happened was all my fault. I can barely remember those days, I was so sick, but I remember you by my side. Every night and every day, I remember you sitting there, working and working until you collapsed with exhaustion. You’re the best Healer in the city, Kei, but even you couldn’t find a way to make me better.”_ _

__“But I did,” Tsukishima says firmly. “I found a way.”_ _

__“And you _shouldn’t_ have,” Akaashi repeats. Snaps more harshly than he means to. Tsukishima’s face falls and Bokuto tightens his arms around him, kisses the side of his neck soothingly. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”_ _

__“It’s okay,” Tsukishima says quietly, leaning back further into Bokuto’s embrace. “What - What happened next?”_ _

__“You came up with a spell,” Kuroo takes over again. “You realized that a poison nobody had ever been infected by before would require a healing spell that nobody had ever used before. It was genius, just like you,” Kuroo grins fondly up at Tsukishima, but it falls into something more somber. “But it required a lot of magic. Magic that - that almost broke the laws of nature.”_ _

__Tsukishima goes still, sucking in a breath between his teeth. Just about the worst thing that a witch could do is break the laws of nature, and it never happened without…repercussions._ _

__“We begged you not to,” Bokuto whispers, chin propped up on Tsukishima’s shoulder. “We told you it was too dangerous, but you - you said it was the only way. You said it was Keiji’s only chance.”_ _

__“It worked.” Tsukishima doesn’t have to guess. He has the proof of that holding his hand right now._ _

__“Yes.” Akaashi says. “It worked. It nearly killed you, but it worked. You saved me.”_ _

__Tsukishima frowns. “Okay, so what was the problem?”_ _

__“I wasn’t meant to be saved.”_ _

__“Keiji,” Bokuto breathes. Akaashi shakes his head._ _

__“No, that’s the truth. The laws of nature dictated that I should have died from that poison. It was supposed to kill me, and because you saved me…” He meets Tsukishima’s gaze, eyes full of apology. “You took something from Death, so Death took something from you.”_ _

__“He took…” Tsukishima trails off, eyes wide with understanding._ _

__“He took us,” Akaashi admits. A fresh batch of tears roll hotly down his cheeks. “He took all of your memories of us and magic and our _lives_ together and I - I’m so _sorry,_ Kei, it was all my fault.”_ _

__Neither Kuroo nor Bokuto say anything. They’ve already tried to tell him a thousand times before, but Akaashi knows the truth._ _

__He hangs his head in shame, tears blurring his vision and staining the sheets beneath him. Suddenly, there are two soft hands on his cheeks, lifting his head to meet an equally teary gaze._ _

__“Listen to me carefully.” Tsukishima’s voice is rocky with emotion, but his eyes are fiery and determined. “Even knowing now everything that would happen to me because of it, I would still choose to save your life all over again every time. _Every. Time._ Do you understand me? This was my decision, and I stand by it.”_ _

__“But -”_ _

___“No.”_ Tsukishima shakes him lightly. “No buts. This is no more your fault than it is mine, so if you want to blame someone, you’re just going to have to blame both of us.”_ _

__“You’re going to have to blame us, too,” Bokuto adds. Kuroo nods in agreement._ _

__“We should have tried harder to stop him, but we wanted it to work just as badly as he did. We all would have done anything to make you better.”_ _

__“I -” Akaashi cuts himself off when he’s met with three equally unimpressed stares. “Okay,” he finally relents. With that one simple word, it feels like a boulder of guilt is removed from his chest. He feels lighter than he has in so long. “Okay,” he repeats, this time with a little grin. It feels good. He feels _good.__ _

__“We went to every Healer in the country,” Bokuto explains. “But, well, you were the best Healer we knew.”_ _

__“They all told us the same thing.” Kuroo frowns at the memory. “They said we had to let your memories come back on your own. That if we forced you to remember, we might hurt you and you might lose them forever. That’s why we were so scared today when -”_ _

__“I’m sorry!”_ _

__“Jeez, Bo, it’s fine! We’re okay.” Kuroo smiles. “We’re all okay now.”_ _

__“That first day when you walked back into the shop…” Akaashi smiles at the memory. “That was the second best day of my life.”_ _

__Tsukishima raises an amused eyebrow. “What was the first best day?”_ _

__“The first time you walked in. The real first time.”_ _

__Tsukishima laughs, but it cuts off quickly. “Wait… How long…”_ _

__“Eight months.”_ _

___“Eight months?”_ Tsukishima repeats, looking slightly ill._ _

__“Closer to ten since you’ve been back.”_ _

__“We missed your birthday,” Bokuto laments. “Happy belated birthday!” He smacks an obnoxious kiss to Tsukishima’s cheek._ _

__“Thanks,” Tsukishima rolls his eyes, but he looks distinctly less sick now._ _

__“Wait, wait, wait.” Kuroo holds his hands in the air, sitting up and fixing Akaashi with a stern look. “I think there’s a very big problem being overlooked here.”_ _

__Akaashi frowns, racking his brain for any unresolved issues. He shares a look with Bokuto who shrugs, equally confused. Kuroo sighs dramatically, pointing an accusing finger in Akaashi’s face._ _

__“Keiji is the only one who’s gotten to kiss Kei in _ten months!_ And he broke a rule to do it! A rule that _he_ made!”_ _

__Akaashi rolls his eyes, and Tsukishima laughs. Bokuto just nods very seriously._ _

__“That’s a good point, bro, that’s a _very_ good point.”_ _

__Tsukishima tilts his nose into the air, but he has a little blush on his cheeks. “It’s not like I would have stopped you.”_ _

__“Oh yeah?” Kuroo teases, pushing Tsukishima’s knees apart and pressing into his space. “Even though you didn’t remember that you were our boyfriend, you would have let us kiss you anyways? Oh my gods, babe, did you have a _crush_ on us?” Kuroo gasps delightedly._ _

__Tsukishima’s eyes flit over to Akaashi, desperately begging him to keep his greenhouse confession secret. Akaashi grins and mimes zipping his lips shut, but Bokuto catches him doing it._ _

__“He did!” Bokuto laughs, hugging Tsukishima closer from behind so that the two of them have him caged between them now. “Aw, baby, that’s so cute. I totally had a crush on you, too.”_ _

__“You still remembered _dating_ me,” Tsukishima growls, but his face is dangerously pink now._ _

___He’s probably pink all over,_ Akaashi thinks. He knows all too well what Tsukishima looks like under his clothes in moments like these. The way he flushes from his cheeks all the way down to his chest. The same pretty pink that he is between his legs, on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and the tip of his length._ _

__The first thrum of arousal he’s had in so long - so _long_ \- is strong enough that he gets dizzy and lightheaded from it._ _

__Tsukishima is squirming between Kuroo and Bokuto now, clearly trying to keep up his disgruntled appearance and failing spectacularly._ _

__“Do you remember this?” Kuroo whispers against his lips, taunting him. “Do you remember what it feels like to kiss me?”_ _

__Tsukishima swallows hard, pinned in place by Bokuto’s hands and Kuroo’s heated gaze. His eyes flit down to Kuroo’s mouth and he manages a smirk._ _

__“You’d better remind me.”_ _

__Just like that day in the shop, Akaashi watches Kuroo inch his way towards Tsukishima’s lips with his breath stuck in his chest. Tsukishima’s chest rises and falls quickly, and Kuroo takes his sweet, sweet time, making Tsukishima huff with impatience. Finally, when a low whine starts to spill from his mouth, Kuroo captures it between them._ _

__Akaashi doesn’t even notice Bokuto reaching for his hand until white hot pleasure zips it way up his arm, down his spine, and down to his groin. He looks up and finds Bokuto’s eyes still trained intently on Kuroo and Tsukishima kissing only inches away from him. The practiced, frenzied way they move against each other, the desperate sounds that spill from their mouths._ _

__This is how it usually starts. With kisses and wandering hands and teasing smiles._ _

__But this time, it won’t end in tears._ _

__Well, the bad kind at least, because this time _he’s here, he’s here, he’s here.__ _

__When Bokuto finally decides he’s done enough watching, he tugs on the back of Tsukishima’s hair until he parts from Kuroo with a gasp. And then Bokuto is swallowing that gasp, hands moving all across Tsukishima’s chest, tracing every line of his body like he wants to relearn it inch by agonizing inch._ _

__And when Akaashi decides he might just die if he doesn’t get closer to Kei _this very instant,_ he straddles his thighs and pushes his hands up Tsukishima’s shirt to feel his smooth skin against his palms and the erratic beating of his heart. Tsukishima arches into the touch, making a muffled sound into Bokuto’s mouth._ _

__And it’s a white hot blur from there._ _

__It’s Bokuto, breaking his kiss with Tsukishima long enough for them to push his shirt over his head and rid him of it. It’s Akaashi, taking the opportunity to steal Tsukishima’s lips from Bokuto, to finally get that intoxicating mixture of butterscotch and honeysuckle on his tongue again. It’s Kuroo, pulling Bokuto out of the way so he can maneuver Tsukishima onto his back with Akaashi kneeling above him._ _

__It’s the laughter, bubbling up between them when Bokuto trips over his own feet in his haste to rid himself of his boxers, and Tsukishima’s hand in Kuroo’s hair, and Bokuto’s lips on Akaashi’s collarbone, and Akaashi’s tongue in the crease of Tsukishima’s thigh, feeling his legs quake around his head._ _

__It’s the pulling apart, the undone. The scattered pieces and fragments of them all, splayed messy and raw on the bed between them._ _

__It’s the putting back together, the wholeness. The fitting pieces back into holes shaped just for them, holding onto each other until they’re sure they won’t fall apart again._ _

__It’s Tsukishima whispering,_ “I love you, I love you all so much, I’ll never never leave you again.”_

And it’s them whispering back, _“You’re home, you’re home now, you found your way back home._

It’s this:

  


A beginning all over again.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ahhh this was one of the most emotionally draining fics ive ever written (in a good way) so i rly hope u guys liked it :')
> 
> let me know what u thought in the comments and come be my friend on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/oiiblondie)


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